The time has come

...to make a decision.

Do I want to carry-on my Japan Journeys for another 20 months, or put an end to it in 8 months time? Both ways involve a gamble. The only difference is what's at stake.

I honestly don't know. I can't decide. The answer is not there. My mind says one thing, but the heart says another. I need a revelation!!!!

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...but to go to Bangkok and not stay at this unique little oasis in the middle of this scarily dense city would be a loss.

I sipped English tea with the hotel owner (aka dad) by the pool whilst tasting his own hand-made sponge cake. (He also makes carrot cake and apple crumble and all kinds of "once on the lips forever on the hips" sweet things). I stuffed my face with too much Thai food from the hotel restaurant not because I didn't have to pay for anything. Afterwards I worked it off in the pool that was just cool enough to bear in the Thai 'winter'. I also worked off my wallet (a bit too much) at Jatujak weekend market and Suan Lum night market. After too much walking and shopping at the night market I still managed to take the underground and then the sky train back to Phloen Chit, but had to hop on a little 10-baht motorbike-taxi to take me down the soi back to the hotel, to save some of the little life that is left in my battered feet so that I could walk up one flight of stairs to my lovely little single room.

Dad making cakes












Ariyasomvilla















Tea by the pool

Home sweet

I don't want to count the days, but the truth is I've been home for 3 days, and only got 3 left (excluding the hop-over to Bangkok for 3 days) :(

In the past three days I've slept about 16 hours in total, eaten shanghainese vietnamese cantonese sichuanese hongkong-ese. I've met up with more people than can be counted with fingers and toes. I've watched a movie. I've combed the Central side-street markets. I've been to IFC Mall twice. I've stayed up til 3am in LanKwai. I've been to 2 church services. I've met people I've known for 18 years, as well as people I've known for the very first time. I've been asked countless times about life in Japan. I've eaten at home once. I've played badminton. I've been on facebook 3 million times. I've kicked myself over 9 thousand times for being a dufus and booking such a short trip.

Sweet home.

How much more can I fit in in the next 3?

In love with the messenger man

Despite darling little kid's daring confessions of his feelings for me, I must confess myself...that there is someone else.

Awful hair, awful glasses, but an enthusiasm and cheerfulness that brights up any day preceding the dawn of hell the second he walks into the staff room.

His shinkansen-speed "gozaimasu" blurbs brings bundles of laughter (to me) everytime, without fail. The shuffling of his feet on school slippers round and round the staff room distracts (me) from procrastination. His unbearable politeness is always entertaining (to me) as he bows and greets every single person in the room, and excuses himself 3 times as he leaves the room.

This is no fictional character.

This is the messenger man.

♥

Confessions

Wednesday, 4:15pm: School's over, I got on my bike, was just leaving school as I passed a few of the 2nd grade boys waving goodbye to me...except one of them wasn't waving, but kissed the tips of his fingers and saluted me.

Friday, 4:37pm: School's over, I got on my bike, was racing down the school drive-way when I passed the same few 2nd grade boys waving and saying bye to me...except for that same boy, who waved, said bye, and just before I turned the corner yelled "I LOVE YOU!!"

That made my day.

That made my coming all the way here all worth it.

Separation

I was listening to a sermon this morning, and found this profoundly heartbreaking.

Excerpt from Ravi Zacharias' talk on "The Lostness of Man" (22/6/08)

"Man has traded away the glory and beauty of God for the ugliness and crassness of man and creatures. Listen to what Habakkuk says: Of what value is an idol since man has carved it, or an image that teaches lies? For he who makes and trusts in his own creation, he makes idols that cannot speak. Woe to him who says to wood 'Come to life!' or to lifeless stone 'Wake up!'. Can it give guidance? It is covered in gold and silver but there is no breath in them. But the Lord is in his Holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him.

"Listen to what David says in Psalm 135. He talks of idols that are blind, idols that are deaf, idols that are dumb. And then he adds this rather pungent comment, he says 'Those who worship these idols become like them.'

"Isaiah in chapter 29 has an analogy for worshippers of idols, and those who deify themselves: He says they are likened to a man who is hungry, who went to sleep at night, and while he was tossing and turning and night he dreamed he was feasting at a banquet. He ate all the food that he wanted to eat, only to be shocked when he'd woken up to find out it was all a dream. It was likened to a man who was thirsty, rolling in bed at night desperately seeking some water in his stomach, and as he is sleeping he is dreaming he is drinking from a fresh spring, he drinks and drinks and drinks to his body's content, only to wake up and find out it was all a dream.

...

"Habakkuk captures the lifelessness of idolatrous persuits as destitute of truth; David reminds us that we become like those whom we worship; Isaiah captures it as an illusionary dream that leaves one hungry...Chesterton describes it as waking up in the morning, looking into the mirror and seeing nothing."

I'm still alive.

Just about.

It's only Wednesday..but I'm exhaaausted.

20 more days til I return to the motherland for 2 weeks!