Lucky Crab

Standing on the platform with my friend V, clutching my heavy weekend bag, handbag and a riceball, I was looking for the right direction for the right exit I needed. But it wasn't there. I thought I knew Tokyo station pretty well. And then it dawned on me, just as the train disappeared off into the city, that I had got off the wrong stataion - one station too early. This wasn't Tokyo station. And it was 1:50pm - 10 minutes until the highway bus departed from Tokyo station. The next bus after that wasn't for another 4 and a half hours.

It felt as though a huge brick wall fell on me.

And one of those bricks that struck me reminded me of what I saw on TV this morning: that today's unluckiest horoscope is Cancer, which is me. I never believed in horoscopes and all that superstition - but I was starting to doubt those doubts.

V and I got back on the next train whilst cursing my idiocy and cursing the potential accuracy of silly breakfast show horoscope predictions. "Can you make it in 5 minutes?" V asked as the train pulled into Tokyo station. It was 1:55pm. I knew Tokyo station was big. But I wasn't content with submitting to 'luck' and my own stupidity. I dashed out of the train as I said "wish me luck!" to V and squeezed through communters and travelers and possibly knocking down small children as I ran through the station, wearing boots and a skirt and still carrying that massive bag and handbag and rice ball.

I got to the bus stop just as the bus station-master was telling the bus driver to get going. I was so out of breath that I panted "sumi..masen....nimotsu....onegai....shimasu" ('excuse me......would you please........stow this.......bag) and jumped on the bus and panted some more "yoyaku..shimashita...samansa...desu..." ('I made a..... reservation. Name's.........Samantha.)

So eat that, horoscope!

A moment of gold

Half way up the big hill to the big school, clutching my bike in my hands , giant snowflakes floating down and adding to the snow-blanketed world around me (yes I biked to school in the snow...), there was just a short but overwhelmingly powerful moment of peace.

There was no sound, except for the sound of my tired lungs.

And when I held my breath for one moment, everything was still.

So white.

So chilled.

So peaceful.

It was something that I hadn't felt for a very very long time.

It was golden.

...until the engine of a tattered minivan climbing the steep hill broke the silence, and reminded me that I was already late for the first class, and I wasn't even at school yet.

It is these moments that I will treasure most when I leave this place.

You-blackhole-tube

As I nurse my regular snowboarding battle scars, I spent a lot of the day watching a bunch of videos on youtube........Rephrase: I wasted a whole lot of the day watching a bunch of useless videos on youtube, including:

videos on snowboarding tutorials as I sit on my bruised ass from falling on ICE;

make-up videos using 2967 types of eyeshadow and 1567 brushes and a bunch of other make-up things that I don't own or intend to own;

and a 2 and a half minute video of a cat lying on top of a japanese bath-cover. Why? I have no idea. It wasn't even informative/educational/inspiring/entertaining/anything. I just stared at this cat loll around. It was no different to staring into a black hole. It was completely useless. 2 and a half minutes of my life wasted.

Because that's what youtube does to you. And also that's what you do when you're sick/sore and have exhausted your supply of snacks.

"...I'M GOING TO DIE"

...Or at least that's probably what Mr. K in one of my schools thinks everyday as he hides behind his mask (I haven't seen his face for....months), whilst pumping the pump on his very own blood-pressure measuring machine (It has a sticker on it saying it belongs to Mr K). After the machine shows perfectly healthy blood pressure, he'll go on to do his daily gargling using some weird brown liquid (diluted), and then wipe his desk and hands with his good-sized bottle of alcohol-hand-sanitizer cleanser.

And then he offers to measure other teachers' blood pressures. Most of whom politely refuse.

He repeats this procedure everyday.

At least it entertains me everyday with something to laugh to myself about.

But the truth is he is very right - 100% right - because we ARE all going to die. 100% of people will die. But thank God, literally, for those who believe what was written in the bible about Jesus, death is just a gateway, a transition, a very steep gradient towards perfection and love and eternal peace and joy. And definitely no blood-pressure measuring and fear of any pain or suffering or FLU.

3

"Watching big chunky men push slap shove and throw each other around - aka sumo wrestling - in the Ryogoku Kokugikan (aka the Sumo Hall) in Tokyo."

(I'm trying to write every (few) day(s) about something that I could only do/find/see/happen to me in Japan and nowhere else.)

2

"Bowing and saying 'negaishimaaaaasu' before every badminton game at our badminton circle"


*onegaishimasu - formally means 'please'. But depends on the situations. In this situation it would probably mean 'let's play'.


(I'm trying to write every (few) day(s) about something that I could only do/find/see/happen to me in Japan and nowhere else.)

This is it.

I circled my decision.

I signed my name on the dotted line.

I handed the paper in.

I'm counting down the days: 6 months and (roughly) 13 days until my contract runs out, until goodbyes are said for the last time, until I fly away from this place that's given me the time of my life.

I have indeed decided not to recontract on JET. Honestly though it wasn't that tough of a decision. I'm not saying life isn't great here. There is still lots to see, lots to do, lots to learn, and let's face it, lots to earn. But realistically, I know I'm not going to pursue a career of education, and I can't justify any more than 2 years to any future employers. I don't feel like my actual work here is bringing any satisfaction, and in turn I don't feel like I'm actually making that much of a contribution anymore and I don't think it's going to increase with another year here. It's sad but I'm already feeling like I'm kind of just letting things pass by without putting much effort, such as using old worksheets and recycling old games over and over again...partly because I'm running out of 'yaruki' (enthusiasm) and partly because I know that I'm not here for much longer.

Then spiritually, I don't feel like I'm really making a great deal of progress out here anymore. Compared to the beginning I am definitely stronger and more 'independent', but it's difficult to be committed to the church which means I don't really a church family that I can really be part of and be contributing to...(although that's 'cause of my own laziness and rubbishness).

But I know I'm going to miss it all so much. Although my next location won't be very far from Japan and I can probably come back (relatively) often, it won't be quite the same.

So from now on I'm going to try to write every (few) day(s) about something that I could only do/find/see/happen to me in Japan and nowhere else.

What I'll be missing:
Sitting under my kotatsu and eating satsumas whilst watching TV.

*kotatsu - is a low table with a heating element underneath and a duvet so you stick your legs under the table and it keeps you toasty <3